I don't know why my house is so cold...but I'm freezing. The tea in my cup is too hot. I'm never satisfied.

Recently I had a really bad day. Not only did it just suck in general I realized that some co-workers dislike me. Younger than myself, and with no reason at all they don't like me.

I have a need to be liked by everyone. I think a lot of people feel the same way. I don't try and force it to happen but inside I'm wishing there wasn't the tension.

My first thought was "good, i don't like you either. you are rude, have an ugly heart (insert dramatic insult here)". But then I took a step back and a deep breath and knew that I truly don't believe those things. I want only good positive things for everyone. Whether they like me or not.

While I can't make them like me I will continue to be nice and show them that being kind goes a lot further than hating for no reason. Their dislike is only poisonous to them.

And I choose my happiness...

I Love Today...

I love today because...

It's Friday! No work or school until Monday :)

I'm in a cheerful mood...

Even though it's cloudy outside, I feel like it's sunny...

I'm heading back to Europe this summer!
Got the good news yesterday and couldn't be happier. Now for the next four or five months I'm going to have to save every dollar. Flights are so expensive(around thirteen hundred) and then money for food, souvenirs, and everything else. I'll be going to London(which I spent a week in last summer and fell in love), Kerry, Ireland, and drum roll please....

PARIS, FRANCE

Oh how I want to be there now. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep I pictured myself standing beneath the Eiffel Tower and got so excited. I can't wait!

My aunt lives in London and flew me over last year. That was so generous of her and now she wants me to come back. Although this time it's much more expensive for me. I'll be paying for the whole trip(which I don't mind one bit). I'll probably blog a lot more since I won't have money to go out with.

Happy Friday!

One Tribe

"One Tribe"-Black Eyed Peas

...One love, one blood, one people
One heart, one beat, we equal
Connected like the internet
United that's how we do
Let's break walls, so we see through
Let love and peace lead you
We could overcome the complication cause we need to
Help each other, make these changes
Brother, sister, rearrange this
The way I'm thinking that we can change this bad condition
Wait, use you mind and not your greed
Let's connect and then proceed
This is something I believe
We are one, we're all just people

And while we're on the subject....

check out this website:

http://www.onetribe.com/

Closet Shopping

Yesterday I got a jump start on my spring cleaning and spent the ENTIRE day cleaning. I am not even exaggerating. I've lived here almost a year and my room hasn't been this clean. Ever.

I've bagged up four grocery bags of clothing, accessories and puzzles that my sister kept in my closet. I need to clean out my desk and finish going through all of my wardrobe once my laundry is caught up.

I had planned on going to Wal-Mart(only because i had already been to Target twice) to get a bookcase, shoe rack and a picture frame for a piece of art I bought in London.

I told my Dad of my plans and he said that he had the shoe rack and bookcase in his closet. They weren't being used and I freed up space in his closet. And saved money!

Closet shopping is the best. It's like when I watch HGTV and they're remodeling a room on a small budget. They go into the basement and find all sorts of neat, forgotten things to use. Although, too many forgotten things leads to clutter and I'm working on eliminating that from my life.

the art on this page is by Francis Bacon. I bought a print of this at the Tate Modern Museum of Art in London over the summer. creepy isn't it?

While the sun is making it's grand entrance this morning, Sade is playing on my computer making for the perfect soundtrack.

I was listening to "Be That Easy" off of their new album, Soldier of Love, but couldn't find a widget for it.

So here's my next pick of the day.

On A Sunday

I learned...

That life is what you make it.

Anything is possible...

That folding towels makes sublimely happy...

I have the best father in the entire world...

A furry companion can brighten your day with swish of their tail...

Organizing and cleaning my room was the best idea I had all day...

Sunny weather really makes me happy...

p.s. I can't wait for summer.

{photo via: here}

Feels Like Love

I think...

You should watch:

"Away We Go"

And then buy the soundtrack.

So beautiful

It feels like love.

xoxo

{photo via: here}

But I kneed to run...

My right knee has me disabled until it heals. I think it's bursitis. This is the same thing that caused me to sit out for the second half of cheer leading my freshman year of high school.

So today instead of taking in this beautiful day I'll be stuck inside. While I don't mind the reading portion of being stuck inside, days like this are few and far between during the winter months. I can't run my mile today which I'm very sad about...I was really looking forward to it.

I'll just sit inside by a window and admire the sunshine and let it dance on my skin throughout the day. But since there will be no running involved, could you do one thing for me?

Enjoy today's sunny weather outside for me.

note: please excuse my cheesy title

{Photo Via: Here}

Today is sunny. For the first time in a while it's actually sunny. As I stumbled from my bedroom this morning and past the front door window I saw a mixture of sun and fog. It was so enchanting and now I wish I would've taken a picture.

Should've, would've, could've...

I love Thursdays. I don't work until four so I'm able to just sleep in. Which I take full advantage of every time Thursday comes around. I stayed up last night reading a new book("Saving Fish From Drowning" just wasn't doing it for me) , "Something Borrowed" by Emily Griffin. And have fallen in love and I only got to page sixty before my eyes were droopy. That was only eleven o'clock. I swear I'm becoming an old woman at twenty-two.

So for now my plan is to get off the computer, start some laundry, eat some breakfast and read until I have to work. Then take the book with me to work. It's only four hours of work and usually busy, but I'll hopefully get a few pages in.

What are you doing on this sunny Thursday?

(while I'm aware I have no followers just humor me. and if you ARE a reader become my first follower and I'll love you for-ever!)

{Photo Via: Here}

When I visited my aunt in London over the summer, I almost died as I walked into the living room of her flat and was dwarfed by floor to ceiling bookshelves. (The books took up an entire wall!) And each night of my stay I slept on the couch below them. Glancing up every once in a while wanting to just stay inside and read them. But then again, I was in London and that would be silly.

It's so refreshing to read the words of my fellow nerds. They love the look, smell and magic that a book holds. Whether it's buying a new release from your favorite author or searching for that first edition of a classic, they still hold that sense of wonder for me. Like something amazing is about to happen.

As of right now I'm reading "Saving Fish From Drowning" by Amy Tan. See my previous post if you'd like to read an excerpt from the book.

And a recommendation or two:
"The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein
"The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald(even better the second time)
"Rosie Dunne" by Cecelia Ahern(author of P.S. I Love You.) Also titled "Love, Rose"

Just a few that I've read lately. Check them out and fall in love with them the same way I did.

Resurrected

"A mother is the one who fills your heart in the first place. She teaches you the nature of happiness: what is the right amount, what is too much, and the kind that makes you want more of what is bad for you. A mother helps her baby flex her first feelings of pleasure. She teaches her when to later exercise restraint, or to take squealing joy in recognizing the fluttering leaves of the ginko tree, to sense a quieter but more profound satisfaction in chancing upon an everlasting pine. A mother enables you to realize that there are different levels of beauty, and therein lie the sources of pleasure, some of which are popular and ordinary, and thus of brief value, and others of which are difficult and rare, and hence worth pursuing."

Amy Tan "Saving Fish From Drowning"

Why, yes I haven't posted in almost a month. But I love this passage and wanted to share it on the blogosphere.

See This Movie!

Here's the trailer to "Good Dick". It was such a good movie. Very quirky and strange to most people. But those are this kinds I like.

On Adventure

From the February 2010 issue of Yoga Journal written by Matt Walker:

Adventure isn't something that's reserved for the extreme athlete or the
daredevil. It is an expression of your heart's intention and passion for life.

Today was the first day of my winter term at school. I've been going now for about three years, but with my mom being sick last year I didn't get much accomplished. I read the passage above and it invoked something deep in me. My "aha!" moment, as Oprah would say. I felt this passion about life and my future. I decided to live my days with intention. Starting small like focusing on school. Just trying to do better in school and life in general.

Sunday will be another adventure filled day as I embark on an actual yoga class(an item on my bucket list). I usually stick to DVD's at home because I am somewhat shy when it comes to things like this. But i realized last night that every semester for the past three years I've been taking classes by myself and knowing no one in them. I even had the courage to take ballet and I fell in love. I already love yoga so now I just have to show up. Earlier this year I planned on trying yoga at the Bikram center and chickened out in the parking lot side note: I mulled over the idea for about three hours before going and by the time I got to the center I was about a minute early. When I needed to be about ten minutes early. Not a good first impression

I am so excited for this year, are you?

Happy New Year

I spent the evening at home reading "The Great Gatsby" and watching MSNBC shows about cults. Weird much? I swear I'm not that weird, but I really didn't feel like celebrating last night. I feel different about New Year's Eve this year. The past few years I partied until the early hours of January first. But after the year I had I really had no intention of celebrating.

I am really, really, really hoping that 2010 is my year. Thing's I'd like to accomplish this year:

• Get at least one A during winter term.


• Start my yoga practice


• Run a 5K or longer


• Get my tattoo for my mom


• Pay off my debt


• Get the macbook I've been drooling over


• Spend a day surfing and blowing glass with my sister.

I've been working on my "bucket list" and these are the things I think can do this year.

Best wishes for the future

p.s. i l-o-v-e Zooey Deschanel.

Yummy

Over the last month my food intake has increased to a level that I'm ashamed of. I've never been overweight and most of my family and friends say i'm skinny...but holy moly I can't seem to stop eating. But now that the bulk of the holiday's are over I'm going to change that.

This morning I made a banana-apple smoothie for breakfast. I'm sipping it right now. It's amazing. After every drink I wonder why I didn't try this sooner. And it took maybe five minutes to create. I just cut up one apple, one banana, added some ice cubes and some milk. I think next time I'll add less milk because it's a little too frothy and milky than normal smoothies. But it's delicious nonetheless. I went against my better judgement and added a little sugar. Which really isn't necessary because fruit already contains it's own, natural sugar. Next time I might add this green powder I bought at the health food co-op I used to work at. It's called Vitamineral Green and made by Health Force Nutritionals. You're supposed to add it to water but that's pretty bland. Check out it's benefits here: http://www.healthforce.com/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=garden_flypage.tpl&product_id=1&category_id=1&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=65

If I hurry and get ready I can hop over to Cafe Yumm! for lunch. It's my favorite restaurant in town. Healthy fast food. Can you believe it? And it's vegetarian. You can add meat, but there really isn't any reason too. It's good without the protein.

You can find them here:http://www.cafeyumm.com/

As for dinner, I'll have to figure something out seeing as work from 3-8.

I'll try to get creative and add more recipes as I blog.

It's Almost Over

I love the holidays. I love the holidays. I love the holidays.

I have that playing on repeat in my mind from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day.

While I enjoy the family, friends, FOOD, and all that comes with the holidays...IT'S EXHAUSTING!

We had two Thanksgivings this year which was unusual for us. But since my mom is no longer with us we've become much closer to her family. So two feasts we had.

Beginning of December we had our annual Christmas party with all of my dad's family. We use a fire hall and have a big lunch/dinner and watch football and play bingo. The next weekend was getting the tree and decorating the house. We had one weekend of rest and then it was Christmas with my dad's immediate family. Four days later it was my first Christmas eve service followed by dinner at my aunts house. Christmas morning which lasted all day. And then on the 27th we left for the Oregon coast for a few days.

In between all of that was work and shopping for gifts. Oh and my brother's birthday. Two families converged on our house to watch a football game and eat a lot of food.

ahhhh...it's almost over.

What did you do for the holidays?

One More Thing

I've been house sitting for the past week. Tonight is my last night, thank goodness. It's so lonely and the cat is crazy. I miss my family at night with it being so close to Christmas. This year is especially hard for me because it's the first Christmas without my mom. But even with that sadness lingering I still can't help but be excited for Christmas morning.

And one more thing. Santa, please make it snow for Christmas.

{photo via-http://www.blisstree.com/files/150/2009/01/apple-blog.jpg}

What I'm Watching

So I'm watching the movie "Gandhi" and it's really good. Very long, but good. I've attempted to watch it before but couldn't sit still. I've made it about an hour into the movie and now am on the computer. Hmmm...I may rent it so I can stop and start it whenever I please. I did hear one quote in the movie that I particularly liked.

And Albert Einstein added, "Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth."

I Tried

Minutes to Midnight

It's nine minutes to midnight and here's a little recap of my day:

Woke up a little late and started the day with an episode of "Art & the City" on Ovation. Today was Paris. My favorite artist they profiled was Fabien Verschaere(he's the short man on the left). He's so adorable and funny. Not to mention very talented. You can see some of his work here: {http://www.artnet.com/artist/424874530/fabien-verschaere.html}

Did lots of reading online

Broke out my yoga mat and did a short fifteen minute session. My sister and I plan on going to some classes over our winter break. I already love doing yoga, but I hope she loves it just as much. It would be such a nice activity for us. During the summer we take walks at dusk to chat and get some fresh, evening air. We would see the regular people every night. I really miss it right now.

Finally my sister, dad and myself headed to meet with our therapist. Our mother died in April and we're all seeking some outside help. She is the most wonderful person. Afterwards we had dinner and went to look for a new tree topper. My mom always put up a really tiny angel that was passed on to her(I think that's the story). Anyway, it's always looked disproportionate on the tree. This year we hung it on the tree but will put a larger topper up. It's about finding new traditions but still honoring my mother.

I came home and cleaned my room to a soundtrack of:
the Roots, the "Once" soundtrack, Mason Jennings, and David Gray.

Today was a good day. The yoga relaxed me and the therapy helped to release some tears. I always feel so refreshed after crying.

Tomorrow I plan on doing some painting before work!

Good night, world!